Americans Chained by Illusion | Brainwash Update

There was really never anything wrong with me. My parents lied because they were lied to. The doctors lied because that is what they were taught to do. And, even as I thought I was interested in justice, the law enforcement ranks were also a HUGE lie that I began to parrot out and thought it gave me some authority. It did not. My brain could not hold those constructs upright for long because I wouldn't stop thinking or asking questions, being as curious as a cat. I couldn't stop making the turns into those dark places where I hoped to find another story, another plateau.



I stopped along the way to enjoy what brought pleasure to my senses. I experimented and made mistakes, but found out that those mistakes were sometimes well worth it. I punished myself, forgave myself, punished other people, forgave other people, kept and let go of things and people. I was a galactic system all my own, attracted to another's gravity, but then foresaw the disaster of our unity and made my choices to stay or go, one way or the other based on my knowledge and plans and needs and desires. I am where I am now not because of someone else's fault, not because of my own faults, because I made my own decisions and whether they were bad or good doesn't really come into play, because what is important to me is that whatever I allowed to influence me to make any decision was mostly my own choice, based on what I knew to be true at the time. Either that, or I didn't care what the consequences would be. And, I don't expect that anyone will choose to be either that happy or that cruel unless it means that much to them as it did to me.

(to be continued)